Category: Jokes

Aliyah Q&A: Do Israeli women like to look at males dancing in skimpy G-strings?

Posted on February 22, 2009 | View Comments

Having been in the blogging “business” for quite some time, I’ve seen my fair share of crazy comments. But over the weekend someone posted a comment on our illuminea blog that is so fabulous and crazy, I had to share it. (I didn’t approve it on the blog because it’s really inappropriate for that audience. But over here, almost anything goes.)

So hold on to your hats…here it is:

Author : moshe rabeynu
Comment:
I am a former male exotic dancer and am interested in establishing a “Chippendales” type establishment in Israel. What type of assistance and tax benefits does the Israeli government provide to new businesses of olim chadashim? Are there many such entertainment facilities in Israel?  I would like some idea as to how stiff the competition would be.  Do Israeli women, as a rule, like to look at males dancing in skimpy G-strings?  Are they generous tippers?  Would they put a shekel to the shmeckel?  If I hire other olim chadashim as dancers, would they have to pay any taxes on their tips?   Can I employ dancers who have not had a briss ?  I might want to hire one or two to add variety to the show lineup. Is a liquor license hard to obtain in Israel.  Do I have to bribe any officials to receive one?  To whom is it customary to pay proteksia money to start a business and keep it going and approximately how much to they ask for?  Thank you for your help.

If there were commenting Olympics, this one would bag a super-gold.

Joke: Why it’s better for Jews to read the Arab papers

Posted on June 24, 2008 | View Comments

Here’s a joke that’s been going around the web for a while, but I thought I’d share:

A Jewish man was sitting in Starbucks reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to come in the same store, noticed this strange phenomenon.

Very upset, he approached him and said: “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?”

Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish newspapers, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty.

So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world.

The news is so much better!”

Talmudic Logic – a joke

Posted on October 29, 2007 | View Comments

TalmudAfter months of negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from Odessa was finally granted permission to visit Moscow. He boarded the train and found an empty seat. At the next stop, a young man got on and sat next to him.

The scholar looked at the young man and he thought: This fellow doesn’t look like a peasant, so if he is no peasant he probably comes from this district. If he comes from this district, then he must be Jewish because this is, after all, a Jewish district. But on the other hand, since he is a Jew, where could he be going? I’m the only Jew in our district who has permission to travel to Moscow. Read more»

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